*MMDs = Mammaries of Mass Destruction
We women understand the power of the boobie. They have the power to turn reasonably intelligent, eloquent men into gibbering idiots. I know this to be true, because just a simple flash of my luscious lady mounds can stop my DH in mid-sentence and cause him to completely lose his train of thought. His eyes go glassy and he gets this blank look on his face as though he’s just been confronted by a 3 line solution to Fermat’s Last Theorem (if you’re wondering, the actual solution is about 500 pages long).
But ladies, did you know that our sweater puppies can cause the earth to move?
No, not like that, I mean an actual earthquake? According to Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi, Tehran’s acting Friday prayer leader, showing your cha-cha’s causes the ground to shake:
“Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes,”
Iran lives in one of the most earthquake prone regions of the world. The 2003 quake in Bam, a city in southern Iran, killed over 30,000 people.
So, what should people do? Relocate to a safer part of the country? No, don’t be silly. According to Sedighi:
“There is no other solution but to take refuge in religion and to adapt our lives to Islam’s moral codes.”
Yeah, that will stabilize the tectonic plates that are shifting under Tehran as we speak. Besides, isn’t Iran one of the most conservative Muslim nation on the planet? Aren’t women already forced to go about their daily business covered head to foot so as not to cause ‘temptation’? Given their moral superiority over the rest of the fabricly challenged world, shouldn’t they be free of earthquakes? If you follow this man’s logic, shouldn’t a place like Brazil, or the south of France, where lots of people are practically naked all the time, be a hotspot for geological activity, not someplace, like, I don’t know, Iceland?
At any rate, this whole ‘blame the loose women for the ills of the world’ attitude did not sit well with fourth year Purdue student, Jen McCreight. She issued a challenge last Monday on her Blag Hag blog for women to set their marimbas free on Monday, April 26th to see what kind of geological destruction they can unleash on the world – all in the name of science of course.
“Time for a Boobquake.
On Monday, April 26th, I will wear the most cleavage-showing shirt I own. Yes, the one usually reserved for a night on the town. I encourage other female skeptics to join me and embrace the supposed supernatural power of their breasts. Or short shorts, if that’s your preferred form of immodesty. With the power of our scandalous bodies combined, we should surely produce an earthquake. If not, I’m sure Sedighi can come up with a rational explanation for why the ground didn’t rumble. And if we really get through to him, maybe it’ll be one involving plate tectonics.
So, who’s with me? I may be a D cup, but that will probably only produce a slight tremor on its own. If you’ll be joining me on twitter, use the tag #boobquake!”
The response has been overwhelming for McCreight:
“So what started as a joke and somewhat sarcastic reply to the ludicrous notion that women’s immodesty causes earthquakes has now exploded. Seriously, internet, you scare and amaze me sometimes.”
She has since had to refine her challenge somewhat:
I just want to apologize if this comes off as demeaning toward women. To be honest, it started as silly joke that I hurriedly fired off since I was about to miss the beginning of House. I never thought it would get the attention it did. If I would have known, I would have spent more time being careful about my wording.
That being said, I don’t think the event is completely contrary to feminist ideals. I’m asking women to wear their most “immodest” outfit that they already would wear, but to coordinate it all on the same day for the sake of the experiment. Heck, just showing an ankle would be considered immodest by some people. I don’t want to force people out of their comfort zones, because I believe women have the right to choose how they want to dress. Please don’t pressure women to participate if they don’t want to. If men ogle, that’s the fault of the men, not me for dressing how I like. If I want to a show a little cleavage or joke about my boobs, that’s my prerogative.
In order to keep the project scientifically relevant, she also plans on doing a statistical analysis on the effect of Monday’s Boobquake event:
And to the scientists who are concerned with my methods – don’t worry, I fully plan on doing some statistics after the event. I know many earthquakes happen on a daily basis, so we’re looking to see if Boobquake significantly increases the number or severity of earthquakes. Or if an earthquake strikes West Lafayette, IN and only kills me, that may be good evidence of God’s wrath as well (I’m not too concerned). And yes, I know I need a larger sample size to make this good science. Maybe I’ll include Mardi [G]ras in my calculations.
So, who’s with me? I’ll be taking part in the event wearing my favorite (and conversely my mother’s most hated) shirt, a purple tunic top with a scandalously deep square neckline on Monday to see what the effect is. If you participate, remember, you’ll be holding the fate of the world in your D-cups!
Alternately, my husband thinks a flash mob of immodestly dressed women should have a sit in at the Iranian Embassy. And yes, the pun was intentional.
ETA: Culture Shocks’ interview with Jen McCreight